Deciding to have sex for the first time can be a big decision.
It’s important that you feel confident and ready, so it’s helpful to think about these things:
- ‘Am I doing this because I want to?’ Be sure that it’s something that you want to do. You should not have sex because someone wants you to or because your friends are encouraging you to.
- ‘Do I feel safe?’ Having sex with someone you trust is going to make it a much better experience. And if you do feel vulnerable you need to be able to talk about your feelings with a sense of safety.
- ‘Do I feel comfortable talking about sex and contraception?’ It’s important that you feel safe talking about sex, sexual health and contraception. Being prepared is smart. It shows you have respect for the person you’re having sex with and yourself.
- ‘Do I feel comfortable having sex with someone sober?’ If you feel like you might need to use alcohol or other drugs before sex, then it’s probably not the right time. Young people who mix alcohol and other drugs and sex are more likely to regret their decisions and engage in risky sexual behaviours, like not using appropriate protection.
- ‘Do I know how to have sex safely?’ Making an informed choice is really important. Get some information, speak to your GP, a counsellor or someone you trust about how to keep safe and protect yourself from STIs and unintended pregnancy.
- ‘What is the law about sex in my state?’ Legally you aren’t allowed to have sex with anyone until you’re over the age of consentand each state will have different laws. But it takes more than just being a legal age to make you ready for sex. You can find out more about the law in your state and the age of consent by checking out Lawstuff.
You need to be emotionally ready and sex needs to be consensual – in other words, you both need to want to have sex. Keep yourself out of trouble by checking that you both feel comfortable with and understand the decisions you have made.
Further reading
Headspace – What is sex: Risks, health & contraception?
